Category Archives: Poetry

Do Your Sphincters Leak?

As one who has sometimes been plagued with taking myself too seriously, I’ve discovered upon growing older that it helps to laugh at myself and my circumstances whenever possible. One of the things that we “seniors” have to deal with is that our bodies’ various functions start acting up. Things that we’ve taken for granted all of our lives and haven’t even had to give much thought to, now start demanding our frequent attention.

When I started “leaking” a few years ago, first my reaction was nearly always swearing and fretting. Then at some point, I realized things weren’t likely to improve and fretting was just souring my disposition. I began experimenting with words and phrases that tried to make light of the situation. These somehow eventually evolved into the “poem” below. When the occasion demands, I still quote these lines to myself (out loud!), and invariably, the cursing stops and the smiles start.

I’ll end this intro with a gentle warning that, if you are offended by mild bathroom humor, stop reading here.

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Ode To Creator God

Foreword Note:
Words for this piece first started coming to mind in 2005, when I lived in Whittier, Alaska, in a water-side apartment on the 9th floor of Begich Towers.  As often happened when gazing out over Passage Canal and the mountains beyond, my mind sometimes wandered to memories of other areas and happenings from the Sound.  That’s what first inspired this, and there have been lots of re-writes ever since.  I intend to eventually overlay this piece into a Ken Burns-style video that will show with photos what I try and describe with words.

Ode To Creator God

Oh Lord my God, how I adore you.
Oh Lord my God, how great You are.
For when I see Your great creation,
Your mountains, Your waters,
my heart inclines to You, oh Lord my God,
for You have made them all.
Oh Lord my God, for these I praise Your name. Continue reading